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[tictacs]

text / call / video / voicemail / actionspam / para / etc leave me starters! prompts! if i don't reply in 3 days, remind me

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[tictacs]

You have no IDEA how hard it is to give lapdances!

[scarlethour]

That is a bold saying

[tictacs]

I would teach you my ways but like, again, scoliosis.

But I turned many a straight man homo with the ways of my Destructive Hips.

I'm just kidding I've only had one girlfriend-turned-wife-turned-ex in my life and have never been touched by another. Which is a little sad but that's why I'm adopting cats in bulk.

[scarlethour]

Your moves are probably outdated anyway
I may not give million dollar lap dances, but I'm sure they're at least worth thousands

I find that incredibly hard to believe
One women?
You must have been with someone else

Get dogs, they won't eat you when you die alone

[ She loves you, Scott. Honest! ]

[tictacs]

You better make sure any schmuck you give a lap-dance is worth it, thousand-dollar baby. I might be out-dated, but there're some values that last lifetimes.

But no, really! I married my first love. It's a really old kind of idea I don't expect a lot of people to understand but that's what happened.

I'm kind of hoping to marry a second love one day, but I'm not staking my life on it.

Anyway, what breed of dog do you think I should get? I mean my kid already has a giant ant for a pet, but a dog really doesn't sound half-bad. Maybe I'll just adopt strays.

[scarlethour]

If you're saying I don't know my own worth, you are deeply mistaken

The concept is dated but it's sweet. Not many people would commit to the first person they are with and that says a lot about you.

I'm not sure about love for myself, not anymore. I used to think I would marry a man who was brave and strong and I would bare many of his babies but things change. I have changed

You have to go for more gentle breeds with high loyalty, we don't want them eating you if your body is lying around for a few days

[tictacs]

I don't know, Maggie was just special. And she made me feel special. And she's beautiful. And just a hundred other cliches from the whole met-in-high-school-knew-each-other-for-years-how-can-she-not-be-the-one schtick, but they all applied to me.

And I guess they don't now and I don't know what I want. So we can be pretty much clueless together, how about that?

Aren't retrievers super loyal and also not in the habit of eating their helpless masters?

[scarlethour]

[ All this talk about special people and feeling special because of them is giving her feels. How dare you, Scott. You're making her ponder her own romantic future. ]

That's dumb. You're dumb
But it's cute
Too cute, almost too cute for me to believe it if it weren't for Cassie

Clueless together works

Or collies! Which is what google has told me, but those are good too

[tictacs]

I promise if I fall for someone one day, you'll be the first person I tell. Then you can insult my taste in men/women and I can say "no, but this one's different!", and we'll eat ice cream and watch Grease and I don't know what people do when you have romantic interests, actually. I need more frie

Googled them too, went straight to images and??? Collies remind me of Thor??????

[scarlethour]

You do need more friends
Just so I don't get stuck eating ice cream and watching Grease with you all the time
And I think it's drinking and the Notebook if the internet has taught me correctly

Golden retrievers are the real Thor's of dogs

[tictacs]

You think Sam'll eat ice cream and watch Grease with me? And man, no, the Notebook was so CHEESY.

Come on. We can do better than that!

have you seen the manes on those collies though? Jesus

[scarlethour]

I think if you look enough like a wounded puppy Sam will do anything

I would pass on the Notebook too, I thought it was boring

But the face of goldens looks so happy and their fur is yellow like Thor's hair